


Scarcely can speak from my thinkin'

by MurderRose



Series: Corona Drabbles [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Beaches, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23278624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderRose/pseuds/MurderRose
Summary: He’d gone and done it again.  Ruined a perfectly good friendship.  Potentially ruined a career.He should have kept his mouth shut.  Why did he ever open his mouth?
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: Corona Drabbles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674001
Comments: 4
Kudos: 64





	Scarcely can speak from my thinkin'

**Author's Note:**

> Beaches and Comfort! Not so sure how comforting it is...
> 
> Characters are their own people and this is fiction.
> 
> Same prompt generator, different title generator. This one is Hozier lyrics...

The wind was whipping through his hair, the sun was beaming down and warming his shoulders, the sand was comfortingly warm beneath his feet, and yet tears rolled off his face.

Jeonghan walked and walked.

He’d gone and done it again. Ruined a perfectly good friendship. Potentially ruined a career. 

When he’d left, the sun had been high in the sky, and now, now it was about an hour from setting. He should turn back. He hadn’t even brought his phone, he’d just backed out of the room, grabbed the first jacket he’d seen and hightailed it down to the beach.

As he stretched his hand up to swipe at his tears, he got a whiff of the cologne on the cuffs. Of course he’d grabbed Joshua’s jacket. Why wouldn’t he have? Oh the world loved to play tricks on him these days.

This was going to look all wrong, he hadn’t meant to take this jacket, they had the same one after all.

The tears kept falling.

Joshua’s face kept replaying in his mind, at this stage it was probably burnt in there forever, seared into his retinas. Shock. Hurt. Disgust?

Why had he become an idol? His mother told him. She’d said “Jeonghan-ah, yes you’ll have more freedom to act yourself, but it’ll hurt more. Everyone will be acting the way you are, and you’ll get hurt baby. Please. Think about it properly.”

And had he? He’d been blinded by the fame, and the beauty, and the idea that  _ fanservice _ was just how he was, that skin contact would be accepted, wanted even. He  **hadn’t** thought. He  **hadn’t** considered that he might… fall in love with someone who was  _ acting _ .

He mustn’t have walked as far as he thought, because he was nearly home now, he could see the pier that was opposite their dorm. There was someone standing at the pier. 

It could be anyone.

Jeonghan looked out to sea, tried to let the waves soothe his brain, and the sea air dry his tears. He reached up again to rub at the tear tracks.

It wasn’t just anyone. It was Joshua.

Jeonghan turned to go straight to the dorms, trying to avoid the inevitable. Sand blew up in front of him, and he shielded his face with an arm.

Joshua ran up behind him, grabbed his arm and spun him around.

Jeonghan froze with fear. Joshua was much stronger, he’d been working out  _ a lot _ lately, please please please please-

“Jeonghan-ah, I’m not going to hit you, I promise” Joshua sounded resigned.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have,” Jeonghan apologised immediately and Joshua shushed him.

“Han. Let me speak please” Joshua gently steered him towards the pier, “lets just sit for a moment. You ran out of there like there were dogs after you. Everyone is worried, you didn’t even bring your phone”

“I’m sorry” Jeonghan offered, confused, he was supposed to be mad at him.

“It’s fine, I understand.” He sat down and patted the wood beside him. Jeonghan sat down gingerly, twisting his fingers into the pockets of the jacket, hurt and worried.

“I could never hate you.” Joshua looked him dead in the eye, and when Jeonghan opened his mouth, he cut across, “I’m serious. You could tell me you killed someone and I’d ask if you had disposed of the body properly. I couldn’t hate you Jeonghan, I can’t hate you, it's just not gonna happen so stop thinking that right now.”

Startled into silence, Jeonghan nodded. Of all the ways he’d imagined this conversation going, this was certainly not one of them.

“Right.” Joshua looked down, “you didn’t even let me reply”

“Your face…” 

“Jeonghan-ah, how many times do I have to say ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’?? That applies for when you drop bombshells on people too, you know” Joshua turned and reached for Jeonghan’s hand. Jeonghan pulled it out of his pocket, still confused. Joshua took it, running a thumb along the back of it soothingly.

“If I had said that to you, what you said to me earlier, what would you have thought, if you’d been me?”

“That it was a joke, that you were making fun” Jeonghan’s response was immediate and he started to think.

“Why?”

“Cause it’s happened before. Confess to the gay boy and make him cry” Jeonghan laughed and turned his head.

“Hannie, I know, cause it's happened to me too. I thought, for a split second, just for a second, that it was a joke.”

“I’d never-” Jeonghan was aghast.

“I know! I  **know** , but once I’d gotten past the initial reaction, you’d bolted. Jeonghan, Jeonghan-ah. I’d like to try.” Joshua squeezed his hand tight and smiled at Jeonghan.

And Jeonghan? Jeonghan didn’t know what to do with that.

“No, no don’t cry!” Joshua burst out, startling Jeonghan who pulled his hand back and hid his face.

Joshua shifted closer on the pier, and pulled Jeonghan into an awkward hug. That just made Jeonghan cry harder.

“I thought I’d ruined everything, you, seventeen, my career, everything” Jeonghan muttered once his tears had stopped.

“Well, you haven’t”

“I know that now Joshuji,” Jeonghan smiled, and tried to laugh, “current me is a lot clever than past me”

“We should go in, it’s getting late” Joshua said, standing, and then pulled Jeonghan into a hug. 

Joshua leaned his forehead against Jeonghan’s, and just breathed for a second. “Please don’t run away next time. Trust me?”

“Okay” Jeonghan whispered, and then reached down to tangle his fingers in Joshua’s.

He looked at Joshua’s sleeve. He was wearing Jeonghan’s jacket. Jeonghan smiled and bumped his hip into Joshua’s. Joshua laughed and held his hand tightly.

The breeze was rustling their hair, the sun was setting behind them, the sand was cooling beneath their feet, and they were smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you thought in the comments below!
> 
> Rose x
> 
> [Come talk to me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseEnDiamant)


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